I would describe this as hard. It's painful. Everything. Working out, eating food that tastes like nothing. I know this is the right thing to do. It's the best thing for my health, for my overall well being.
I know all of this and still feels sometimes like throwing in the towel. The gym takes up a lot of my time. I miss my friends. I have not being going out to not be tempted to pick at their food.
Some good news is... I found out I get a cheat meal this weekend. I already know what I'm having. I'm having a nice Publix sub and French fries. Oh yes. This is going to happen.
This blog has been getting harder and harder to write. I don't wan to sound negative while I'm writing, I want to sound positive like everything is moving forward. I mean for the most part I am moving forward. This is hard though. This is mentally and physically challenging. I knew that it would be, but it does not change.
My addiction to food I like someone addicted to pills. Yes I know the two are a little different, but the addiction part is the same. When some people get stressed they go for a run, they drink, they take pills...... me? I ate. I didn't just eat a little either. I ate until I hurt. I ate when I wasn't hungry. I ate anything I could get my hands on. At one point I was hiding food. So let's say my friends said "Hey can you pick up some (Insert fast food restaurant here)" I would get their order plus the food I would eat in front of them PLUS a "little" thing for the ride. No one even knew. I did and I'm ashamed. I haven't done that is 13 days now. Do I feel better? Well that's a loaded question. I feel lighter, I have lost weight so that does make me feel good. However my stress... a lot of it is still there and I don't know how to get rid of it. There is no possible way I can workout anymore than I already am. I'm up for suggestions.
Well good night folks. I have a lot to be thinking about and sleep to be had!
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